Eliminate the Battle of the Sexes in Your Relationship - with Dr. John Gray
Stage ee: The Third Stage of Dating begins when both people feel a desire to date each other exclusively. Both of them want the opportunity to give and receive love in a special relationship withouto relax and have more time to share with one partner.
Exclusivity must not be assumed without talking about it and coming to an agreement about it. Exclusivity for his can cause him to stop doing the things that made him so attractive to her in the beginning. This is not the time for him to sit home and assume that the work of building a romance is over.
He needs to continue to take the time to explore what she likes Exclusivt After she has agree Just as his romantic gestuhen he knows what she wants and he feels confident that he can fulfill her. The Challen The challenge in the T Stage Four: Intim Once both people have experienced chemistry on all four levels - physical, emotional, mental and spiritual, they are ready to experience the real and lasting love tha This is the time to relax and just get to know each other on a deeper, more personal level.
This is when he needs to draw from the skills he learned in Stage Three and continue to give his best without expecting an immediate return. The more intimate This back-and-foh urge is natural for a man and mimics the testosterone production in his body.
His need to pull away will decline less and less as emotional intimacy deepens in the relationship. She struggles with avoiding the urge to chase him.
Stag Five: ment The final stage of datinorever. It is a time to build a life and future plans. Engagement is also the best time for a couple to practice before they are married. Marriage is like a magnifying glass. Everything becomes bigger. As the love grows, so do the pressures. It is a great time to practice the t Apologies and forgiveness are interdependent. When one partner apologizes, that makes it easier for the other to find forgiveness.
When one partner is very forgiving, that make It is difficult for a man to apologize for his mistakes whee will be forgiven. When a woman deliberately chooses to focus on creating a positive and receptive attitude by forgiving, she then discovers how much a man really wants to please her and support her. She experiences and learns that her love, not her punishments, brings out the best in him.
The Botto It is important to respehip to grow. Throughout the Five Stages of Dating, it is important to understand why rsue and she should create opportunities to be pursued. Couldn't finish it. I read this sentence in the book where it said women should not give guys directions if they are lost or tell the guy he is lost.
Hello are we supposed to drive around all night getting more lost??? View all 3 comments. Apr 10, Christa rated it it was amazing.
When I want to learn how to do something well, I read up on the topic. And yes, that even applies to dating. This is, hands down, the best dating book I've ever read. Gray does an excellent job at explaining the wonderful but sometimes baffling differences between the genders.
It helps each to better understand how the other interprets those little things that can make or break dating in its fragile early stages, which is particularly helpful for a generation who just doesn't date anymore.
Gra When I want to learn how to do something well, I read up on the topic. Gray also explains the stages to relationships and how vital it is to progress through each - including uncertainty.
Highly recommend it to any fellow singletons out there - it's totally changed how I approach dating for the better.
Apr 08, GoldenjoyBazyll rated it it was amazing Shelves: self-help. What did I learn from this book? That I am still learning. As I read- I thought about the relationships I have had in my life and what I have learned about myself from them. It was also interesting reading about the stages of dating.
In truth- I agree with the approach of moving slower and really getting to know each other. What I find from many of these books- which leaves me at a loss- is where is the wisdom and advice for those of us whose relationships go amuck as a result of situational cha What did I learn from this book?
What I find from many of these books- which leaves me at a loss- is where is the wisdom and advice for those of us whose relationships go amuck as a result of situational changes in life.
There are those things which are not so easily resolved Maybe there are no answers.
Keep it light, bright and gay. Mars Venus Dating is a companion book to Men Are from Mars, Women Are from . I've been writing dating advice for 5 years now and these are some of my. Mars and Venus on a Date: A Guide for Navigating the 5 Stages of Dating to Create a Loving and Lasting Relationship [John Gray] on bapublicidade.com *FREE*.
I have always been on excellent terms with those I love long after the intimate relationship has ended. In my mind- just because somethng does not work out it does not mean that you do not love the person Dec 16, C. Fewston rated it it was amazing. Men and Venus on a Date, however, provides deeper insight into the world of couples trying to figure out the rules and taboos to dating a Martian or Venusian and holds keys that will unlock the mystery of communication and how to build a stronger and more loving relationship with Mars and Venus on a Date: A Guide for Navigating the 5 Stages of Dating to Create a Loving and Lasting Relationship by Dr.
Men and Venus on a Date, however, provides deeper insight into the world of couples trying to figure out the rules and taboos to dating a Martian or Venusian and holds keys that will unlock the mystery of communication and how to build a stronger and more loving relationship with your partner.
As Dr. But for this post I will focus primarily on some helpful information about how Martians often of the male gender and Venusians often of the female gender communicate and how they are interpreted and how each partner can work to better express themselves and learn how to communicate more efficiently. First, though, a reader needs to understand that Martians and Venusians are in fact different and do not communicate in the same shape or fashion, and this is by far the greatest mistake couples make when dating.
Just as someone from the East would instinctively learn that people in the West have different customs and cultural habits and do not communicate in the same way so should Martians and Venusians learn and become more aware of how each partner may communicate. For instance, on Mars when Martians apologize that usually ends the entire discussion and the Martians shake hands, slap each other on the back and go have a beer and all is forgotten.
When you say you are sorry, the discussion begins. Now if a Martian does not know this about Venusians then he would likely become annoyed and she would feel rejected and uncared for and an argument would arise and the relationship would begin to break down. This would show the Venusian that she is cared for and help her feel more secure in the relationship. A woman needs a man who will make her feel special, unique and secure. Gray p A Martian, therefore, needs to understand better how Venusians think, act, behave, and speak; otherwise a Martian will misinterpret his favorite Venusian.
A man may think his date is another woman whose needs may smother him and take away his freedom. As a result, he loses interest. There is not a person who I have not met who does not wish to be successful in love. Love is as delicate as a plant and needs attention, caring and respect.
And these characteristics can also be found in one who spends time studying over a book in a library preparing for an exam. True love happens. One night you attend a party when you are filled with doubts about even going and then suddenly you fall into a seat across the very person you have longed waited to meet. You both instantly just know. You both play it cool. Avoiding each other, but in the end always coming back to each other and the conversations flow and both of you just click into place.
And both of you know that the Universe has smashed two oceans into each other and it is such a wonderful feeling. This knowing is not in any way dependent on a long list of reasons or qualifications. Soul love is unconditional. It is most romantic for a woman when a man anticipates her needs and offers to help. They like to try new things and have new experiences. A man makes the best impression by asking questions and listening. Sharing in her thoughts and feelings is the way to win a woman overWhen he asks questions, it reassures her that she is special and worthy of love.
When a man experiences a positive response to the things he does or provides for her, he is more inclined to feel attracted. A woman also experiences a greater attraction to man when he is helpful to her. She then mistakenly turns this around and assumes that if she is helpful to him, he will be more attracted to her. It is not a physical decision based on how a person looks. It is much deeper. When our soul wants to marry our partner, it feels like a promise that we came into this world to keepWhen our soul wants to get married, it feels as if we have no choice.
We have to do it if we are to be true to ourselves. View 1 comment. Jul 24, Jenn Andrew rated it liked it.
After my seven-year marriage dissolved, I felt I needed something to get me in tune to the dating scene of the new era. A friend of mine had suggested this book so I read it with speculation and hesitation.
I am glad that I did because I enjoyed it. John Gray, the well known author of the best selling book Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus, takes you through the steps and stages of dating so that you end up in a lasting relationship.
He lists five stages that you have to go through succ After my seven-year marriage dissolved, I felt I needed something to get me in tune to the dating scene of the new era. He lists five stages that you have to go through successfully to end up married or in a meaningful relationship.
In Mars and Venus on a Date, you are brought through stage one, which is attraction, and then onto stage two categorized as uncertainty. Stage three and four deal with exclusivity and intimacy. The last stage that John Gray introduces you to is engagement, which goes into how to make up with each other so that your relationship doesn't lead to a break up and he explains the different reasons why men and women get married.
What I liked about the book is that it is intended for both men and women. It helps you to understand how the opposite sex feels.
Let's face it. No one understands the opposite sex but after I read the book, I had more insight into how each sex thinks and feels about dating and relationships. I didn't think I could utilize this book but it came in handy while I was dating.
With a little bit of experimenting, I was able to see what John Gray was talking about in his book. It is written with good intentions and with a good heart from a man who has produced a total of seven books on relationships between men and women. He has a Ph. I enjoyed reading this book because in a humorous and thoughtful fashion, it touches on all aspects of dating and explains the reasoning why men and women do what they do especially after that first date.
It's fascinating to read about how you can attract and choose the right person that is meant for you. The book tells you about the warning signs to look out for so you don't get involved with the wrong person, it teaches you how to bring out the best in your partner and covers many other topics that are very useful and important for you to know. It makes dating more fun and exciting. Mars and Venus on a Date is a good self-help book to read when you find yourself back in the dating game.
Mar 05, Rain Grrl rated it really liked it. This was a great book. I had read it before, and just finished reading it with a group of women. Some were afraid that they hadn't read the original Mars and Venus book and would be lost. That is not the case. Every concept that Gray discusses, he explains fully.
Why you should listen -. John Gray, author of the best-selling, most well-known relationship book ever, "Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus", sits down. To ask other readers questions about Mars and Venus on a Date, please . at a loss- is where is the wisdom and advice for those of us whose relationships go. John Gray is the author of Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus.? Originally published in , Gray’s book became the best-selling relationship advice book of all time.? That book was followed by fourteen others, including Mars and Venus on a Date, and Mars and Venus Starting.
He mentions the first book occasionally but information is not missing. My biggest concern is that the book is very dated. It leans back to a much "simpler" time, and has zero advice about online dating websites and the new ways men and This was a great book. It leans back to a much "simpler" time, and has zero advice about online dating websites and the new ways men and women interact.
There are also some parts where the information is repeated over and over, or lists go on and on.
John Gray, Ph.D., author of Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus, shares free relationship advice, dating tips and health solutions for common ailments. Compliment him. Let's set our imaginary. Draw him out, but don't leave him hanging.
Lastly, if you are a devout feminist, this book will offend you. If you can not accept or expect Gray calls it "being receptive" a man doing things for you as a woman, you will be gravely disappointed. The book is written from the male perspective that works more at fixing women, and I would be surprised to find a man who has read this book.
It is helpful in explaining a lot of misconceptions women have. As with every self-help book it will not fix everyone. Gray explains that sometimes there is a bit of role reversal, and goes on to explain this away. When you detach and make a joke of something and lighten up, your testosterone levels are coming up. We have ways of coping with stress, which are actually, many of them are thousands of years old.
Meditation for example. Primarily, meditation was taught in cultures where they taught meditation, only to men. I still go to India all the time. So what do they do?
The Best Relationship Advice From "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus"
They love. Their spiritual path is love and devotion to God and their family and their husbands. Love is the path. Why did men, why were men taught to mediate? What meditation does, it quiets the mind. When you quiet the mind, you stop feeling your emotions. You gotta stop thinking. So stop worrying about it. What do we instinctively do in marriage. Why are you making a big deal out of this? And why are we talking so much about it? Women will say that to me. Monkeys squabble and fight all the time.
Do what works. But you need to complain in order to produce estrogen. Complaining is like this phenomenon that produces estrogen, which is why Men, a little tip. Just get that. Back in the early, late 80s, I was teaching men what women wanted. I wanted them to be in touch with his feelings.
Beyond Mars and Venus: Tips That Truly Bring Men and Women Together - John Gray - #
Remember that? So a guy, every time he has a complaint in his head See, what men do, is I got a complaint. Forget it.
I felt hurt when you said that. All the women were like, this is great. Two weeks later, I want a divorce. This has really happened. One woman said, you know ever since you got him to start talking about his feelings, I want a divorce.
Another woman, these are real stories. Your supposed to protect her from you. And what do you protect her from? Your anger. Men have forgotten that what it is to be a man is detached, cool, calm, collected. Do the right thing. Quiet the mind. Stop talking. How many times do I have to tell you this?
Let me just see. How many men feel, sometimes, that feel, think. How many men think sometimes, have experienced. How many men have experienced a woman repeating herself a little bit too long? Almost all the men raised their hand except for the married men, who are not gonna say anything.
And you know why? This particular one. We have an agreement. The agreement is based upon an understanding. The understanding is I love her more than anybody. I want to be there for her more than anybody. I work hard. I dedicate myself to her and my family, but a button gets pushed and you get defensive. As soon as he detaches, she sort of freaks out, because women thrive on connection.
Connection creates estrogen. She needs to feel connection. To put in to more graphic terms, men. She needs you to penetrate her. I mean penetrate. See most people think listening is this feminine thing that women are all good at. Oh yeah. Now you owe me ten minutes. They gotta go back and forth, okay. They want to be heard.
Come in to me. Hear me. See me. Do me.
These lessons are the top take-aways from the best-selling John Gray book Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus, one of the. Listen to # Mars & Venus with John Gray | Relationship Advice by breakup BOOST: Let's Talk Relationships | Breakup | Dating | Relationship Advice. elf and offering advice. He could try some open questions like: What do you. The Challenge The challenge during the first stage of dating is to.
Do things for me. We lick the vagina. Oh my God. What did you do to me? What am I doing to my career? Hey, listen. This is G rated. It is? Anyway, off that. Everybody knows I talk about licking vaginas and all this.
I do it in a book called Beyond Mars. You can clap, you know a book on sex for that much time. So back to this very important question. So how do you listen to a woman? First law.
Second, say a few little things. Whatever I say makes it worse and it does. Pumped out of shape. She complains.
Last Thursday, we did this and this and this. Then she says, yeah, but you were d-d-d-duh. She goes back and forth. This is like the stupidest thing we do. We do it too men. They complain and what do we do? We complain back. And she always has more. You cannot beat her at this game. The Greeks knew this. They had that myth of Medusa. Medusa is the bitch, okay. The snakes are coming out and if you cut the snake, three snakes grow.
You cannot win. If you try to help a man or give him constructive feedback, any of that stuff is correcting him. Trying to change him. Back to my first point. Role mate relationship is acceptance. Love is like this. But we have to understand how to do that.
They need more estrogen in their body. Men do not have the energy to give love, unless their testosterone levels are up. We need this. We can do things to stimulate that. The most important is your question. Is it really that big of a deal? What do I have to do about that?
She feels the disconnection. We started over, okay. The record just starts over again. At that moment, where I start, I can see defensiveness coming like an orgasm coming, okay.
You can see things coming in the distance. Remember Lidocaine. The defensiveness is coming. I can see where this is going. Now most guys are starting to get depressed. Oh no. Where this is going down and down and down.
Let me come back to my point being, okay. She wants to feel connected to you. For her to feel more loving, more feminine, more cooperative, more relaxed, more peaceful, more safe. Any of those qualities, estrogen levels go up. She needs this new thing.
But they were happy til they died. It was a different world then.Relationship skills for the modern world -John Gray
This is for many couples, marriage. Change each other. So keep pushing really hard so you fall out of your chair. Come to me baby. Yeah, I love you. So you do your best. I want this conversation to be over. So I need to come back into control of this, kind of like riding a wild horse, okay. I gotta control it. How do you control it? Take charge of the conversation. How do you do that? This is kung fu relationship skills. She will stop resisting you instantly. Oh, tell me more. I want to know more about that.
Another one is, help me understand that better. See, who is in control now? You say to her at that point, what else? Three magic phrases to save your marriage, live a happy life like I have. So what are they? Tell me more. Help me understand that better. What else? She cannot climax without 20 times more estrogen than you.
Communication and talking is one of the most powerful estrogen stimulators for both men and women. But men, do we need more estrogen? So stop talking, ask questions.
Ask questions. Now that we have that understanding, then we have a code phrase that works. It can be buying something. It just sort of pops out of nowhere. It will just come out. What else or tell me more. A few of those. Oh, I got a clap on that. Women are powerful. And, they also need us men. The most important thing they need about us They used to need as the provider. Now they can provide for themselves. So women have lost touch with what do I need a man for.
So what do you need him for? These new things. A good listener.
Mars and venus dating advice
Someone who can be there for you. And of course, the big bang. They may not know it. Or they never had the right stimulation. But this is all part of marriage.
Why do we get married today? And yet half of marriages are asexual after a few years. What happened? So many people today, twice as many people today are single. Because you lose that attraction. This is how you keep the attraction. For women, you need this estrogen. This was the build big up, like my foreplay, so you get to this, what do we do? What do I do? They are complicated.
Got it. But women just sometimes complain. She loves to do this. I could care less. Sometimes I take my shoes off watching late news or something like that and I leave them. Do you want me to put them in the closet? What do women need most? To be heard.